How to Talk to a Cute Guy You Dont Know

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Figuring out your sexual orientation can be disruptive, but at that place's no blitz to characterization yourself. Your sexual identity is personal, and it'south okay to explore how you feel. If you lot doubtable you may be gay, examine your thoughts and behaviors to effigy out if you're attracted to the other genders. Additionally, consider experimenting with your sexuality. If you identify as gay, be proud of who yous are and come out when you experience gear up.

1. 1

   Count how ofttimes you notice people of different genders. When you're out in public, observe who tends to describe your heart. Gay individuals are more probable to notice people who are the same gender as them, while straight people tend to observe the other binary gender people more than. Alternatively, queer folks may notice genders depending on any preferences they may have.^[1]

   • For example, let's say you're a guy enjoying the day at the beach. If you notice yourself checking out the other guys in their swimsuits, you might be interested in men.
   • Keep in mind that you lot might sometimes notice people for reasons other than beingness gay. For case, you might similar their outfit.

2. 2

   Detect who sexually arouses you. Await at pictures of people who are commonly viewed as "attractive" and meet which gender(south) arouse y'all. If y'all're more than aroused by people who are the same gender as you, you may exist gay. If you find more one/or the aforementioned gender every bit y'all arousing, you may exist queer.^[2]

   • For example, yous might look at pictures of celebrities to meet what attracts you lot. However, proceed in mind that thinking someone looks attractive doesn't necessarily mean you'd desire to take sex with them.

3. 3

   Examine your past crushes to run into who you're attracted to. Your crushes can tell you a lot about your sexuality. Think about the people you've "liked" in the past. Find if you tend to develop crushes on people who are the aforementioned gender as you. This could be a sign that you're queer.^[3]

   • For example, if you're a girl who's crushed on a soccer teammate, a fellow girl scout, and your all-time girl friend, y'all might be lesbian, or interested in women.
   • It's normal to have occasional crushes on someone who'southward the same gender every bit yous, even if you're not gay. Withal, if you find yourself having same-gender crushes oftentimes, y'all might be queer.

4. four

   Reverberate on your by relationships and how they made yous feel. Yous can be gay even if you've had direct relationships in the past. Remember nigh who you dated in the past and how comfortable you felt in the relationship. Ask yourself if you felt attracted to this person and what type of attraction you felt. This tin can help y'all effigy out if you lot might be queer.^[4]

   • For example, allow's say you're a guy who's had, several girlfriends. If you lot felt uncomfortable with physical contact with each daughter, y'all may exist gay.
   • Keep in mind that you might just not exist ready for intimacy or maybe asexual, both of which are okay. Y'all don't have to practice anything that makes you uncomfortable.

5. five

   Examine your sexual fantasies to aid identify your sexual orientation. Reflect on the blazon of fantasies you've had in the past. Notice what you were doing and who you tend to think about. If yous often fantasize nearly relationships involving specific genders, yous may be queer or gay.^[5]

   • Equally an example, let's say y'all tend to think virtually people who are the same sex as you are whenever you masturbate. Y'all may be gay, but you could also be pansexual or bisexual if you sometimes think near the another gender.
   • Call back nigh who you identify with most during romantic or sexual practice scenes in movies or TV. For instance, if you're a girl who identifies with the guy character because you want to osculation the girl, yous may be interested in girls.

6. 6

   Don't assume you lot're gay based on how you walk, talk, or dress. Y'all've probably heard stereotypes about what makes someone gay, merely none of these are true. Your sexual orientation has zip to practice with your fashion, appearance, or how you lot speak. Similarly, walking or dancing a certain way doesn't make you gay, either. Ignore these stereotypes when figuring out your sexual orientation.^[6]

   • For instance, having a loftier-pitched voice as a guy doesn't make you gay. Similarly, preferring short hair as a girl doesn't make you a lesbian.

1. 1

   Flirt with someone your like to see if information technology feels right. Beginning by giving a compliment to someone yous think is attractive. If they seem comfortable with it, playfully bear on their arm or shoulder. See how it makes you feel.^[7]

   • You might say, "That color looks amazing on yous."
   • If y'all savor flirting with the same gender, you might be gay or queer.
   • If you feel like information technology'due south irksome or awkward, you may be straight.

2. 2

   Kiss or hold hands with someone who'due south the same gender/some other gender if you want. Concrete intimacy like kissing or holding hands will help yous figure out if you might enjoy being with someone who's the same gender as you, or another gender such every bit non-binary. Take things ho-hum and offset past holding easily with them. So, consider kissing them if you both seem to be comfortable with information technology.^[8]

   • Go on in mind that kissing and touching a person who'due south the same sex equally you doesn't automatically mean yous're gay.
   • Don't practice annihilation that feels uncomfortable to you. If you get uncomfortable, excuse yourself. Say, "I demand to refresh my drink," or "I'yard going to go find a snack."

3. 3

   Apply protection if you decide to go all the style with someone. If you want to be sexually intimate with someone, use a condom or dental dam to protect both of you from sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Yous are still at gamble, for STIs or STDs regardless of your human relationship type. ^[9]

   • But have sex with someone if it'south really what you lot want. Don't be afraid to accept things slow.
   • Keep in mind that fifty-fifty if you accept a sexual experience with someone of the same gender or another gender, that doesn't necessarily mean that you're gay. Likewise, having sex with someone of the 'opposite' gender doesn't have to mean that you're straight.

4. iv

   View your sexual identity as something that'due south fluid. Things would be so unproblematic if you could just label yourself as gay and exist washed with information technology, merely information technology may not be that easy. It's normal for you to have questions and change your listen sometimes. Heed to how y'all feel and respect your personal preferences at the moment.^[10]

   • For instance, you might feel like you're gay but still aren't sure. That's okay. When you're ready, you can decide what label feels right to y'all.

1. 1

   Celebrate your sexual identity equally part of who you are. Embracing who you are is something to celebrate, so exist proud of yourself. Recognize that you are perfect the way yous are and permit yourself to exist you.^[11]

   • If you're not ready to tell everyone that you're gay, that's okay! This doesn't mean yous aren't proud. It's normal to be nervous, so have your fourth dimension and come out when you feel it's the correct time.^[12]

2. ii

   Label your sexual identity when - if ever - you feel prepare. Take your fourth dimension to figure out your sexual orientation. It's okay if information technology takes you a while and if you lot change your mind. Information technology's normal to experiment and question your sexual orientation. When you feel prepare, determine on which label y'all want to use for yourself.^[13]

   • For instance, y'all might think y'all're pansexual because you've dated nonbinary folks, men, and women. Even so, you lot might later realize you're gay. Information technology's okay to change your heed and re-label yourself.

3. iii

   Come out on your terms. There'due south no right or wrong way to come out. Your sexual identity is personal, so you don't owe anyone an explanation. At the same time, existence out and proud may help you feel similar you're being true to yourself. When you're gear up, tell someone you trust about your sexual orientation, like a family unit fellow member, friend, or teacher. Then, slowly tell the other people who are important to yous.^{[14] [fifteen]}

   • For instance, you lot might kickoff with your all-time friend. Tell them, "Have yous ever noticed that I ever discover hot guys? That's considering I'm gay."
   • When you tell your parents, it might help to bring educational resources for parents who have queer children. Say, "I love you, so I want to share something important with you. I'1000 gay, and I'm proud of it. Since I realized this, I'm feeling really happy and excited well-nigh falling in dear. I hope you lot can understand and support me."
   • Don't experience like yous have to take things wearisome if you're gear up to come up out. If you want people to know your sexual identity, go ahead and tell them.
   • If you're questioning your sexual identity, seek out people you know will be supportive. That might be a friend, a instructor, a leader in your community, or mental health professional person. If you lot live in an area where you don't feel y'all'd have a lot of support, expect for online resources, support groups, and forums that could help you.
   • Coming out is a lifelong journeying, non something yous practice just once.^[16]

4. 4

   Consider if you lot're queer if you're attracted to multiple genders. Beingness pansexual means you're attracted to multiple/all genders. You might not desire labels, or place as queer. This can feel disruptive at first because you might doubtable that you're gay but then take a beat out on someone who's some other gender.^[17]

   • Being bisexual doesn't mean you're attracted to anybody. Information technology merely means that y'all may be attracted to people of either gender.
   • Similarly, being bisexual or pansexual doesn't hateful that you have to switch back-and-forth between genders.
   • Some people say that bisexual people are "confused" or "going through a phase," but this couldn't exist farther from the truth.^[eighteen]

5. 5

   Achieve out to a advisor if you're struggling emotionally. It's normal to have conflicted emotions when you're exploring your sexual identity. Simply if you're overwhelmed by feelings of guilt, sadness, or anxiety, or if yous aren't getting the back up you need from your family members or customs, some people can help.^[19] Inquire your doctor to recommend a counselor. Or, if yous're a student, find out if your school offers counseling services.

   • Yous can likewise find support groups online or call a crunch line that's dedicated to LGBTQ issues. For example, young people living in the U.S. can phone call the Trevor Project 24/7 at 1-866-488-7386.^[20]

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• Take all the fourth dimension you need to make up one's mind if you're gay. Try dating different people to see what feels right to you.

• Keep in mind that your sexual orientation is different from your gender identity. That means, for instance, that y'all can be transgender simply likewise straight (for instance, you might identify as a woman and feel attracted to men) or gay (east.g., if you identify as a woman and are attracted to other women). You can besides be both trans and queer.^[21]

• Being gay is part of who you are, and there'due south naught wrong with it. Some people might not understand your sexual orientation, simply you are perfect the style you are.^[22]

• You don't need to be sexually active to be gay. It's solely based on your sexual orientation.^[23]

• You also don't demand to engage in specific types of sexual activities if you don't want to. For example, not all gay men choose to have anal sexual practice. Look for means to get intimate with your partner that both of you are comfortable with.^[24]

• Practice safe sexual practice at all times. Keep in mind that aforementioned-sex sexual activities tin lead to sexually transmitted infections (STIs) merely similar any sexual encounter tin can.

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Commodity Summary X

If y'all're not certain how to know if y'all are gay, think about any past romantic experiences y'all take had. If you accept had just had crushes on people of a different gender, you are probably straight. If yous have had romantic experiences or fantasies involving people who are the same gender as yous, then in that location is a good chance you are gay or bisexual, merely it'south okay if you're a little confused. Also, if you don't want to, yous don't have to label yourself at all. You like who y'all like, and you tin can get out it at that. It may assist to recall of loving people, rather than their gender. To learn more about how to be comfortable with your sexuality, keep reading!

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